Caring for Your Aging Loved Ones: Balancing Support and Self-Care

You want the very best for the people in your life. As you get older, this may sometimes involve stepping into a caregiving role for an aging spouse or parent.

This change in your relationship and routine can often happen without preparation – and it can affect you physically and emotionally. Sometimes, you may struggle to manage your loved one’s needs while also keeping up with the demands of your daily life.

Taking time for yourself may seem difficult. However, seeking help and practicing self-care can be vital to your health and well-being. Here are insights to help you navigate the caregiving process and weigh the option of retirement living communities – which can provide a supportive environment for people in all stages of aging.

The Emotional Toll of Spousal and Family Caregiving

No matter how much you love your spouse or aging parent, becoming a caregiver can be hard. You may miss the daily conversations and emotional connections you used to enjoy if your loved one is experiencing symptoms of dementia or other cognitive decline. Or you may feel overwhelmed by helping with daily activities like dressing or bathing. Often, this may lead to feelings of loss, loneliness, and guilt about the emotions you’re experiencing.

Recognizing how you’re feeling can be a vital step in getting the support you need. It’s okay to think about your own needs. In fact, taking care of yourself can help you find the balance you need to be an even better caregiver.

The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers

Self-care is not selfish, it’s essential. There’s a well-known saying that you can’t care for others unless you care for yourself – and it’s true.

Taking care of yourself can help you protect against the potential negative health impacts that caregivers may experience. According to the National Council on Aging, some examples of these may include depression, a weakened immune system, weight gain, chronic diseases, and problems with short-term memory or paying attention.

Having a healthy diet, exercise, and rest – and keeping up your own health needs – can all play a key role in your well-being. Also, finding time away from caregiving to pursue personal interests and social connections can be important. These activities can help you manage stress and loneliness and find fulfillment in your life. Remember it’s okay to ask for help from family, friends, and other resources in your community. (See “Resources and Support for Family Caregivers” below.)

Recognizing Signs of Caregiver Burnout

The Institute on Aging (IOA) defines caregiver burnout as a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. It says that 67% of support providers report experiencing this condition.

Burnout may feel different for everyone and can show itself in different ways. The IOA breaks examples into three categories, as follows:

Physical

• • • Fatigue and headaches
    • Weakened immune system
    • Irregular or difficult sleep
    • Neglecting personal hygiene

Mental

• • • Increased irritability
    • Intense mood swings
    • Cognitive difficulties like mental fog

Social

• • • Withdrawal from personal hobbies
    • Decreased work performance
    • Resentment towards those within care

If you find yourself experiencing these or other concerning symptoms, this may be a sign to seek support.

How to Start the Conversation About Senior Living

One way to put a support system in place is to have a plan that addresses changing health and personal needs. This can include having conversations about senior living and whether a retirement living community may be an option.

Senior living may include possibilities like assisted living, which provides an enriching residential experience with extra support, or memory care for older adults who are facing dementia-related conditions. It can also include independent living for seniors, which can provide amenities like dining services and extensive activity calendars. Communities that offer multiple housing options can ease the journey for some couples, allowing access to the services each person needs – in one place.

If you want to talk with your loved one about senior housing options but aren’t sure how to start, we can help. On our website, you can find tips to navigate a conversation about senior living. For instance, we cover topics such as:

• • • Researching senior living options
    • Involving family members
    • Preparing questions
    • Finding a comfortable place to talk
    • Empathizing with your loved one
    • Focusing on the positives
    • Not rushing a decision

Though it can be hard to do, having this conversation earlier can empower you and your loved one to make an informed decision. It can also provide extra peace of mind that you have a plan in place as health and caregiving needs change.

Resources and Support for Family Caregivers

As you make decisions about your living and caregiving needs, it’s important to know that you don’t have to do everything alone. Reaching out to family and friends for help can be a great place to start. Often, taking time out from caregiving for a walk or activity you enjoy can help boost your spirits.

Other possible resources can include:

• • • Joining a local support group or utilizing resources through organizations such as the Well Spouse Association, Caregiver Action Network, or Family Caregiver Alliance.
    • Utilizing Era Living Family & Caregiver Resources created to support family members and their loved ones with dementia and other health needs.
    • Seeking in-home care professionals who can support you with caregiving needs for your loved one in your home.
    • Seeking professional service providers, such as cleaning or cooking professionals who can help you with everyday tasks.

Taking Care of Yourself and Planning for the Future

Caregiving is probably not something you thought about when you first got married or started your life as an independent adult. It’s a journey that requires support. As you care for your loved one and plan for the future, remember to be good to yourself as well.

Finding time for yourself may not always be easy – but your family, friends, and community support can be invaluable resources. Take time to recognize your efforts and seek help when you need it.

At Era Living, we’re committed to supporting you in finding what’s right for you and your loved one. If you’re considering a Seattle retirement community, we can help you understand different senior housing options – from senior independent living to more support-intensive services like assisted living and memory care. Whatever path you choose, you are not alone.